I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
