My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize