Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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