real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
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