its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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