I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
