check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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