I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
