I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you traded sex for a burrito?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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