I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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