I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
