I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
