Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
