so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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