Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think my vagina is haunted
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
