So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
