I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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