just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
