I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
