I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
