when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
