you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
