Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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