i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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