.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
