Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
