i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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