PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
