I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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