so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
