careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
