I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just want nice things and good sex
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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