Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
