I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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