i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm at about main and main street
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
