I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
