You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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