i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it's like heaven, but drunker
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize