He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
