"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Barsexuality is the new black.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
NoShamevember. You game?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
