i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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