I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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