i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
