When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
