just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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