I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
