I smell stomach acid.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
