No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can't turn off my feet"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
