wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
