I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
