Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
