Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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