There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
