Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
