Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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