i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
