At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
