we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
